Originally published by Reductress

There is nothing more gut-wrenching than spending 12-72 hours waiting for a post-date text that seems like it won’t ever come. Did you do something wrong to deserve radio silence? Probably. Was service lost on all cell providers the exact second you pressed send? Most likely yes. Did the recipient die moments before the text came through? Ideally. As soon as you convince yourself you don’t want a text back anyway, you’re conveniently getting just what you wanted! Here are 10 of those texts that you didn’t really want responses for ANYWAY LOLZZZZ!!

“How was your night?”

Just kidding. You don’t care, anyway. You didn’t even mean to push send on this. Phew! Glad they ignored it.

“How have you been?”

Classic conversation ender in your book. It was either this or “byyyyeeee” and you chose a fail-proof method of ending that conversation on purpose. Bravo. Don’t need ‘em.

“I had fun last night.”

No harm in just supplying someone with information, right? Just pure facts for the sake of facts and definitely not any subtle encouragement of verbal interaction. Pretty obvious this was a dead end.

“Dinner this week?”

This isn’t even a full sentence. No one should have to respond to this practically illiterate garbage text, especially not your friends or that guy who told you he loves you.

“I’m inside by the bar. Are you here yet?”

This one is pretty self-explanatory. You were hoping to sit alone at that bar because it’s admirable and a great inspiration for the cold open of your rom-com script. You go!

“Wanna come over?”

What does this even mean? Rereading it, there’s no way to know! Wanna? Come? Over? Are those even English words? Expecting anything but radio silence from this incredibly cryptic message is outrageous and maybe a better use of your time could be learning the English language.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?”

Guess you’ll find out! You were gonna rent a car and leave the city to go to their family’s BBQ in suburban NJ, anyway. Dumb idea!!

“Are you getting my texts?”

Obviously they aren’t and you knew that and this was rhetorical. LOL.

“That’s so interesting! Could you explain that to me in more detail?”

Nope. Please don’t answer. LOL.


Before you sent this, your fingers and toes were crossed that it’d be the last thing you ever said to them. Dreams do come true! LOL!!!!

Congratulations! You’ve lowered your standards and have taken textpectations into your own hands, although it may be time to rethink what know about human interaction and everything you’ve done that’s gotten you to this social and technological low point. Good luck out there, Champ!